Philo's Log
by Hawkie
Summary: A Lancer's log entries throughout the years. [T for later content. R&R, pretty please? :D]


_Tuesday, Third day of the First Month_

I've long since forgotten what year it was, nor do I particularly care. I fail to remember what year it was when I was born fifteen years ago. My sixteenth birthday draws near as Winter will melt away and be subsequently replaced by a warm, Spring breeze.

My graduation from Gariland Academy is drawing near. I am fortunate to have survived this long after performing such grueling tasks at the Hokuten's demand, especially at such a young age -- though Linda was not so lucky. My dear little sister... Little over fourty-eight hours have passed since I witnessed her death on the battlefield, in Gallione. She faced the enemy bravely and was struck I know not how many times; Doris and Willy rushed to aid her, but she was too far away from either of them to recieve immediate medical attention. I could do nothing else but fight off the brigands blocking my path as a rock -- Gods know how big or sharp it was -- struck Linda's head and she fell down. The enemy didn't hesitate to mob around her and finish her off.

My poor sister... Had our parents still lived, they would've been beyond disappointment for my failure. My failure to protect my own flesh and blood. Linda, I'm sorry... please forgive me. Forgive me for being a terrible failure of a brother. I had refused to let her attend to the Academy - she was too young. But the staff saw potential in her. And yet...

Ilia slapped me earlier. She said that if I continue looking depressed like this, I would make Doris die of guilt. I've yet to see Doris since yesterday morning... she appeared glum. Well, maybe that isn't the proper word to describe her expression. But I can tell that she feels responsible for not being able to help Linda. How can I blame her? Or Willy? I know it wasn't her fault. The enemies were numerous and almost seemed to enjoy blocking our path as we were being seperated from eachother.

Ilia is right... If I keep mourning over Linda's death, everyone else might be infected by my negative mood. I know she's just trying to cheer me up, but it is almost as though she's trying to act as a mother scolding her child. The thought of Ilia being my mother is quite... unsettling. Willy is bound to try to cheer me up as well, seeing as he was the only Chemist other than Doris, and the man seems to be allergic to bad moods. At least his method of brightening the mood doesn't involve slapping and yelling. But what of Doris...?

I wonder how this ordeal affected Ramza and Delita. I know the both of them have younger sisters, but theirs are still alive. It would be cruel to even imagine their reactions if...

... I cannot afford to let this incident cloud my mind forever. Linda would not accept that I weep over her death perpetually. If angels do exist, then, I believe she is watching over me now.

We were assigned to accompany Ramza wherever he went and protect him -- seeing as he is of noble blood and all. He is a good guy, but sometimes I cannot help but be a bit jealous of his standing. But I suppose that can't be helped.

On the way to Igros, we encountered a group of Death corps goons attacking a young man. He called himself Algus and claimed to be of the Limberry Aegis Knights. That Algus... there's just something about him that I don't like. I don't feel like he can be trusted.

I suppose it is time I set down my quill and retire for the night.

* * *

_A/N: It's been forever and a day since I've written something FFT-related. Playing FFXII made me want to play FFT again... (it's the references that were made, I swear!) So, in accordance to that, I wrote this thingy here about my Lancer-Thief Philo. Those of you who read For a Guardian Angel's Memory (eww) might remember him from a few chapters. I realized he spoke a lot more casually in FaGAM than in here... Maybe he grew to be less tense, haha. I suppose I could rewrite the chapters I had written, but I don't know whether I'll ever continue on with the story or not. :s Ah, well. There will be a few more chapters to this, though... but not many. (Oh yeah, R&R, pretty please? D:)_


End file.
